I grew up online. I loved Neopets, Club Penguin, AIM, Wolfhome, VMU, VMK, the list goes on. Today my entire career surrounds computers. It was only natural.

The only difference now is that our online experience is purposefully constructed to keep us online for as long as possible (well, what do i know- maybe it was always like that and I was too naive to notice). The longer you're online, the more ads you can be served and the more you can be manufactured into a good consenting consumer (unless you’ve found yourself in an ad & micro transaction free space like the small web).

Honestly, it crept up on me slowly. I lived alone and was scared and lonely, so I started falling asleep to YouTube videos to keep my brain from spiraling. I started playing YouTube even during work hours out of boredom (short form content rekt me). My screen time reached 15 hours!!! I knew it was bad but I didn't care! I had bigger fish to fry, like winning the civil wars in my head and building the courage to go outside again.

Once i was able to meet my basic needs and felt secure again, I started to really flourish. I was exercising my body more and eating more nutritious food, but my screen time was still through the roof. I don't know at what point this happened, but my therapist suggested I try letting up on social media. At first i was like “fuck no”, but I sat with it in the back of my head for a few weeks.

Then one day i got pissed at Instagram and all the fucking ads and how fake it felt, and how I was disgusted at how I felt like I couldn't even really express myself safely there. So I deleted it off my phone along with TikTok. A few weeks later, YouTube, Mastodon, Reddit, and Facebook were also deleted. My pi.fyi and nospace accounts were deleted too. I also dumbified my phone (it looks like this now) and it's almost constantly on Do Not Disturb.

PROS:

1. My screen time is usually less than 2 hours and I spend most of it on Spotify making playlists or on safari (Github Codespaces on my phone bcs im insane). I think this is good because I am using my time more thoughtfully and in a way that makes me feel more fulfilled and content.
2. The reclaimed time has given me more space to work on things I care about like my passion projects.
3. I am absolutely off my rocker in terms of creative stamina and drive. I have like 4 projects in the works and they’re all across different domains (sewing, visual arts, wood working, webdev). It’s like turning off the radio has allowed me the space to think my own thoughts and do my own thing. I feel like the anime character that has gone absolutely mad, but in a healthy way.
4. I generally care less about other’s negative opinions of me. I guess being offline has changed what I feel like I need to do or be to fit in with my peers, so meeting some standard is just not something I really think about anymore. This may be a side effect of therapy, but I am in turn much more confident and care less about upsetting people. Some days, I feel like god.
5. Having no social media had the unintended effect of making me far more present. I am much more tuned in to the world around me and worry less about my stupid annoying notifications.

CONS:

1. I feel sad and resentful when I’m spending time with others and they end up checking Instagram or Twitter more than engaging with me. I can’t tell if I’m that unlikable or if they are just as addicted as i was, but either way it’s not my responsibility.
2. I’m not really plugged in with the state of world as I once was. I need a good email digest to keep up with things, but I have yet to find one that’s short, sweet, and unbiased.
3. I don’t know about my friends anymore. Most of them only spoke to me when I replied to their stories or they replied to mine. I’m bad at reaching out in general and that makes it worse! I have 1 friend that I still message and FaceTime occasionally, but that’s really it.
4. I am constantly putting my phone down and losing it. I feel like i never know where it is because I check it once every couple hours and don't have it glued to me. Its fucking annoying, but the first rule of systems thinking is that every solution creates new problems, so I guess that’s life!