NYE

New years eve was really lovely. I spent it alone with my partner and we kinda just went with the flow of whatever we felt like doing in the moment - no plans! We got sushi, went to a NYE party at a Kava bar, and then we went to the beach! The nearby bars were playing bangers and we danced there like fools under a very beautiful sky until well after the shark dropped (no ball drop - SHARK DROP lol). Here is a crude picture of how lovely the sky was. It was everything my soul needed and I will probably do this again next year.

A Few Thoughts

I have been feeling a little defeated because one of my side projects is not preforming how I wanted it to, but if I learned anything at all in the last two years, it's that I must simply keep going. Healing, growth, learning- it all takes time. I have to just keep moving forward.

I also feel deeply grateful to be able to make goals. The last two years I was so focused on the threats around me and not spiraling that I didn't have anything else to hope for or endeavor to. Perhaps these goals existing, or me thinking about them at all, are another side affect of me getting better. I'm deeply thankful to be able to make these goals, to write this blog with my cat in my lap and a hot coffee and a nice cool breeze coming through the window. Life is crazy.

Anyway- enough of that sentimental shit!

The Goals

1. Make my side project cash flow positive and produce a certain redacted amount per month.
2. Achieve a respectable 5k time. Goal time is under 30 minutes. 29 minutes and 59 seconds is good enough.
3. Play at least one song on the guitar in it's entirety.

These all need to be completed by Dec 31, 2025.

The How

The method to the madness is planning shit weekly in my bullet journal to make sure I don't forget the important milestones. I am so good at forgetting that most of the time if things don't get done, it's because I forgot. I've been using the bullet journal throughout December and I have already noticed a difference. I do weekly planning on sunday or friday.

• Goal 1: I will need to build a 2025 plan with juicy details on moving forward more effectively. The plan will include the how of this goal, but I will schedule working time 5-7 days a week on this. If I just show up every day, I will figure it out. I know I can.

• Goal 2: I have a Garmin watch and I am doing a program with one of the "coaches" in the app. I might switch over to a TriDot program because it's new and shiny. To keep myself accountable, I will sign up for a race each quarter. I already have a March one picked out.

• Goal 3: Although I want to be super ambitious and play master of puppets, I feel like this is probably a silly idea for a beginner even if I do have a whole year. This goal has the same requirement of "i need to schedule this or I will forget and be sad". I would like to practice everyday, but if we're being realistic it will be more like 3-4x/week. Anyway the first step is picking a song- will probably be something easy like Metallica. If i finish early I'll just learn another song.

Ambitions

I want to be more ambitious, but I must avoid spreading myself too thin.

The astrophysics career is a dream I cannot easily let go of, and I fear one day I will regret not going for it sooner. I am actively letting side project 1 take precedence over the space I could have given astrophysics as it aligns with my goals for early retirement. Maybe I'll change my mind but for now, I could not shoehorn that goal in. If i could be less realistic, I would pursue this and the Interstellar Drifters project. Maybe I'll find my current goals leave space for at least one of these two. We will see.

Desires

I really want to get my first Rick Owens piece this year. Something versatile and simple like a t shirt or pod shorts, nothing crazy and obviously black.

Also, I can feel my soul searching for something. I badly need to create something, but not just anything. I need to let my soul speak I think. I feel like this guy